Author Archive for michaeltertes

Are You A Joy To Be With?

Are You A Joy To Be With?

That’s one question I asked during the Frazzled To Fabulous call that seems to have caught people’s attention. People have been saying that they rarely think about what it is like to be with them. They focus on what their life is like and what they want but not on the actual experience people have of them.

Not being a joy to be with is one of the symptoms of being a Frazzled Entrepreneur.

If you are being a martyr, doing your work out of obligation, undervaluing your work, quietly (or not so quietly) suffering, playing the hero, faking everything being fine when, in fact it isn’t, or being so driven that the rest of your life suffers then – what’s it like to be with you? How is it impacting the service you provide?

How is it impacting your ability to grow your business? Are you a testimonial for the service you provide? Can you imagine that your clients or customers say something like, “She’s great at what she does but… she’s stressed out, overwhelmed, disconnected… or, the rest of her life needs help?”

These are all symptoms of being a Frazzled Entrepreneur. If you haven’t yet had a chance to listen to the free call you can get it here:

And if you know that you are done being frazzled I’ve created a course just for you… The Frazzled to Fabulous Breakthrough Course!


You can find out more and register here:

Right now the course is $47 and bring a friend for free!

(I don’t know of any other course of this type and price point offered where you get personal coaching from the course leader.)

The Frazzled to Fabulous Breakthrough Course includes: three – 75 minute tele-class/group coaching sessions. Each class will focus on one of the three shifts you must make to move from a frazzled to a fabulous life and business.
During these sessions, for the first time, I will be sharing tools that have only been available to my private clients. You also get weekly strategy sheets and materials to forward your progress and learning between each class.

I’m also including to huge bonuses!

Bonus #1 – A 30 Minute Individual Celebration and Strategy Session with me. (This is a $250 value in itself.)
Bonus #2 – Bring a friend to the course for FREE! (Value – $800)

The early bird tuition for the course is only $47. The tuition goes up to $97 on Saturday Sept 15th.

You can register here:

As I mentioned above, the course will walk you through the 3 Simple Shifts you must make to leave your frazzled life behind. They are:

Shift 1: Get real honest with yourself about the experience of your life and business. It is only by seeing with clarity and honesty what is happening right now that you will be motivated to take the steps to change.

Shift 2: Get who you really are and what you truly want. The key to your success and happiness in life it to know who you are, what makes you and how you serve unique, who the people are that you are to serve and lastly what makes you feel alive.

Shift 3: Get out of your own way. Yes, it’s true! The only thing in your way is YOU. You will learn how to stop trying to run up hill or sabotaging yourself. When you get out of your own way your enjoy your life more immediately and release your ability to grow your business and make more money.

To your fabulous life!



Its Not Safe

Getting real…

This is what it looks like to not give yourself permission. I share this experience because each of us experiences the part of us whose job it is to keep us “safe.” Over the last couple weeks I’ve found myself stuck in fear. I’ve started to get a fair amount of visibility from my Permission to Thrive Tour and have been working on the next class I’m going to teach. But I found myself wasting time, procrastinating and pushing out the start date. I mean, really, how many seasons of “Weeds” do I need to watch on Netflix to realize I’m distracting myself? I’m finally at the point in my life where I see that as a sign and know that I need to do something about it.

I decided to do an expressive arts session for myself. Thanks to my wife, who is trained as an expressive arts practitioner, I’ve learned this through osmosis. I put on some music and did a series of drawings over an hour or so. The series below is what came out:


The one on the left is what it feels like as my creativity and authenticity (new and exciting thoughts, actions and activities) are wanting to be expressed. That black line/half circle is what keeps that energy in. It is a very old and familiar experience. I called it “The soldier falling on the grenade.”

The middle picture is of that soldier in conversation with me. I call him the “Grizzled Vet.” He’s tired and ragged. He’s smoking a cigarette as we talk. He says that for as long as he can remember he’s been on the front lines keeping me safe. He’s been stopping that energy from escaping. When I ask him why. He just says, “It’s not safe.” I asked him what he wants for himself? “I want to retire to a Hawaiian Island. I’ve been fighting long enough.” So I dismiss him. But he won’t leave. He says “I can’t desert my post.” He is worried for me. So we ask for a replacement.

The picture on the right is the Sentinel. He says he will take the post. He can see beyond the horizon both within and without. He will protect me but also support me in a new way to allow my vital energy to flow more freely. I see the sentinel as a more mature permission granter than the Grizzled Vet. The Grizzled Vet could only say, “No.” He didn’t have much leeway in his role. The Sentinel is much more mature, has greater perspective and sees the need for the energy (my voice, my thoughts, my actions, my desires, my power) to flow. The Sentinel knows I’m always safe. I’m back on track, developing my course and launching it very soon.

We all have some version of the Grizzled Vet, a part of us that keeps us safe, that is based on old programming and old fears. A part of us that has outlived its usefulness that, in fact, now harms us and keeps us from being who we want to be.

Here’s a process to experiment with to work with the part that doesn’t give you permission to thrive:

Step 1: Notice you are stuck.
Step 2: Look closely and identify the part of you that keeps you safe and give it a name. Allow yourself to realize how it is not keeping you safe but actually causing you harm.
Step 3: Look for a new resource to take its place and give it a name.
Step 4: Experiment and take action with this new resource in place and see what happens.

I’d love to hear your what your experience!

Permission To Thrive!

Time to blog…

In February I launched my “Permission To Thrive in 2012 Tour.”  So far I’ve given 8 talks to over 125 people. The response has been amazing. The mix of the concepts of permission and thriving has really hit a chord.  People attending the events have been highly engaged and we’ve had trouble keeping the evenings to two hours.

One thing people have been asking for are my Seven Steps to Giving Yourself Permission. So here they are…

    • Get a guide – It is you who will be giving yourself permission. But most people need a guide, someone who knows the terrain and can assist you to get to the gateway.
    • Explore and Envision – Pick an area in your life and explore what you really want. What would your life be like if you had what you really want in this area?
    • Identify your programming that has reasons, rationalizations and excuses that you give yourself and say you can’t have what you want.
    • Resource - Give yourself a resource. Imagine someone in your life who would say, “Go for it!” Let them give you permission until you are ready to give it to yourself.
    • Commit - Write down the permission you are giving yourself. Commit to having it in the face of potential internal, familial, community or even societal boat rocking.
    • Act – Identify the next step towards having it and take that action.

I’d love to hear what kinds of permission people are giving themselves. Permission to say, “No.” Permission to say, “Yes?” Permission to take Friday nights off? What permission are you giving yourself that leads to greater thriving and less suffering?

Look forward to more posts and articles on each of these steps as well as on the topics of permission and thriving.